Actors In A Play – The Daily Stoic – Part 11 of 366

Remember that you are an actor in a play, playing a character according to the will of the playwright — if a short play, then it’s short; if long, long. If he wishes you to play the beggar, play even that role well, just as you would if it were a cripple, a honcho, or an everyday person. For this is your duty, to perform well the character assigned you. That selection belongs to another.”

Epictetus, Enchiridion, 17

Play the hand you are dealt, and play it well. It is the only hand you get. This is the lesson the Epictetus is trying to impart. The book goes on to mention that accepting and fulfilling our part is not at odds with ambition which is not obvious at first glance. After all, if we are assigned a part then why try rising above our station? If we must play the beggar then how are we not locked into such a poor life?

There are many stories where the mighty fall, and there are many stories where the less fortunate rise. You may be assigned a part when you enter the story, but the story itself is not yet written. The question really is this: what do you want your story to be? If someone tells your tale, what will they say?

In order to change your story you must first accept and understand the role you have been tasked to play. You cannot change where the story starts or where it has already been, but once you are in control then your story will go wherever you wish.

How To Be Powerful – The Daily Stoic – Part 10 of 366

Don’t trust in your reputation, money, or position, but in the strength that is yours — namely, your judgements about the things that you control and don’t control. For this alone is what makes us free and unfettered, that picks us up by the neck from the depths and lifts us eye to eye with the rich and powerful.

Epictetus, Discourses, 3.26.34-35

The book talks about a story in which a philosopher stands eye to eye with Alexander the Great, unwilling to move out of the way of him and his army. When asked what he has accomplished compared to Alexander, he replies, “I have conquered the need to conquer the world.”

Reputation, money, position, fame, and so on can all be stripped away. They are things conferred unto us by other people and society. All humans desire these things to varying degrees. Unfortunately, they are not entirely within our realm of control.

This too is a hard lesson. Money truly seems very important, and when you don’t have enough life is indeed miserable. It is understandable why most people make such concessions to obtain it, even if they must do so at the expense of their individual freedoms. But I do think many (including myself) put perhaps too high a premium on it.

It doesn’t always feel like it, but you can always earn more money. It is worth making sure that you are not trading too much in return for it, both in terms of time, stress, and moral authority.

This is a timely and relevant passage. I don’t normally think of myself a kingdom builder, but I am more that than many I know. It has taken more deliberate action than I expected in passing the baton and handing over the keys to things I have spent five or more years building. Letting go is not easy for me. And yet I know that for the next cycle to begin I must learn to accept these things and cherish the chance to create an opportunities for others around me while I get out of the way.

Someone Else Is Spinning the Thread – The Daily Stoic – Part 9 of 366

If the breaking day sees someone proud,
The ending day sees them brought low.
No one should put too much trust in triumph,
No one should give up hope of trials improving.
Clotho mixes one with the other and stops
Fortune from resting, spinning every fate around.
No one has had so much divine favor
That they could guarantee themselves tomorrow.
God keeps our lives hurtling on,
Spinning in a whirlwind.

Seneca, Thyestes, 613

According to the book, Clotho is one of the three Greek goddesses of fate who “spins” the threads of human life. The playwright Aeschylus wrote, “When the gods send evil, one cannot escape it.” The same was true for great destiny and fortune.

This is another example of acceptance. We are not in control, and what will happen will happen regardless. However, this quote digs into another facet of this concept. What is today may not be tomorrow. Nothing lasts forever. A triumph can be come a trial, and a trial a triumph in an instant.

What you are experiencing now will pass. Let this be a sobering fact because it applies to both the good and bad.

A Higher Power – The Daily Stoic – Part 8 of 366

This is the very thing which makes up the virtue of the happy person and a well-flowing life — when the affairs of life are in every way tuned to the harmony between the individual divine spirit and the will of the director of the universe.

Chrysippus, Quoted in Diogenes Laertius, Lives of the Eminent Philosophers, 7.1.88

For this quote the book talks about addicts struggling in a 12 step program where step 2 is acknowledge a higher power. At first glance this feels like a religious platitude, and it is not necessarily helpful to the nonreligious. But the point really has nothing to do with religion at all. The fundamental idea is to accept that the world does not revolve around us. It is much too big for that. We are not at the center, and we are not in control. We are simply along for the ride of life. As the book says, “As soon as you can attune your spirit to that idea, the easier and happier your life will be, because you will have given up the most potent addiction of all: control.” What a great way to phrase it — “attune your spirit to that idea.” How you think about and understand the world and your relationship to it is entirely within your control, and yet this is something that most people spend very little time thinking about.

I am not a religious man, and I have not been for a very long time. But I also figured out long ago that not being religious does not mean you cannot be spiritual. In the Neil DeGrasse Tyson interview with TIME magazine he is asked about the The Most Astounding Fact, and this helped me more concretely frame and explain my spiritual views ever since. You do not need to believe in a god to see the beauty and feel kinship with the Universe at large. In so many ways we are just a brief jumble of particles that have coalesced in a way for the Universe to view and experience itself. Our atoms will return on their journey before too long, and we should treasure the time given to us to experience this cosmic adventure.

When considering the big picture, we are not in control. We are along for the ride.

Not Good, Nor Bad – The Daily Stoic – Part 7 of 366

There is no evil in things changing, just as there is no good in persisting in a new state.

Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 4.42

Events are neither good or bad. They just are. In fact, they are objectively pure. The universe does not actually have an agenda since it is primarily a physics simulation.

The book notes that the Stoics would remind everyone of this fact. The status quo is not inherently good and change is not inherently bad, and the reverse is also true. The goal, then, is to make the most out of every situation.

Accept what is and adjust your attitude accordingly.

The Cycle

At the end of 2018 I wrote a post called What Do You Want? where I detailed achieving a goal I focused almost solely on for five years, and how that left me feeling… well, just feeling. Lots of feels. And ultimately I wasn’t sure what to do next other than keep going.

Since then it seems life was happy to keep me preoccupied with other things. New projects and challenges at work, a country in turmoil, a long distance relationship, adopting a cute senior pup, a global pandemic, and the loss of my father. And so I went, goal-less, for the past few years; just riding with the currents of life and unsure where exactly I wanted to go.

Honestly, while this was a departure from how I normally operate, it was kind of freeing to not have the yearly summit where I harshly analyze my progress and work diligently on course corrections. If ever there was a time to give myself grace, it would seem 2019 and 2020 were it. Now emerging from both the chaos and unstructured years, I do find myself slowly returning to things I once held dear.

I have always been an active learner, but it has grown more passive over time. I have generally felt over the years that work has left little bandwidth to want to program and experiment outside of it, yet I am seemingly happy to watch any number of Youtube videos on business, programming, and the like. Putting in more effort than that seemed a challenging ask even though all of the years I spent programming before work were chock full of experiments.

The same is true for gaming. It used to be that if I was not at work or school then I would normally be playing games. And yet, for some reason, even that had become a challenging ask. Challenging to the point where even the thought of playing some games gave me anxiety. I turned myself invisible on Steam and on the Blizzard client, and my game libraries collected dust.

Looking back I think this is enitrely due to life events and not changing interests on my part. It turns out the middle years are messy even without a wife and kids. Careers, buying houses, aging parents, and paying more attention to the country and local community start to take up time and mind share in a way they don’t when you are young.

Some of these stressful situations finally resolving seem to have introduced a light at the end of the current tunnel. Now I have a bunch of things I want to program for fun, including some products with financial potential. I have books to read, research to do, blogs to write, places to go with my pup, and even games to play.

I am finally ready for the cycle to start again.

Following The Doctor’s Orders – The Daily Stoic – Part 6 of 366

Just as we commonly hear people say the doctor prescribed someone particular riding exercises, or ice baths, or walking without shoes, we should in the same way say that nature prescribed someone to be diseased, or disabled, or to suffer any kind of impairment. In the case of the doctor, prescribed means something ordered to help aid someone’s healing. But in the case of nature, it means that what happens to each of us is ordered to help aid our destiny.

Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 5.8

Doctor’s orders. Somehow this simple phrase does carry enough weight to get people to accept unpleasant things. There is the promise that in following through with the unpleasant course of action we will find ourselves in a better place. And yet we often don’t apply this same thinking to fate or destiny.

Again, as in part 5, this one is harder for me to swallow. It implies that there is a destiny for each and every soul, and while I agree that each creature in this universe will follow a path to an eventual conclusion, that conclusion may not be one we readily desire and accept.

Many people are dealt an unfair and uncaring hand by the universe. Should you accept and welcome a destiny where you are permanently disabled and nearly die in a car crash in your 40s? That is what happened to my father. Although he survived, he lived another 20 years of declining health and ability, and he gradually watched as the world he was leaving to his kids seemingly became worse at every turn.

Perhaps the stoics would say that his destiny was in fact to have a family and be lucky enough to watch his kids grow up — a gift this universe did not grant my mother — and that this is enough. Framed in this light I can accept what Marcus says. I generally think being a good parent is by far the most important thing most humans will do with their lives.

It took me what feels like a long time, but I have come to appreciate my life experiences even though my younger years were extremely challenging and frequently consisted of loss and hardship. These experiences have indeed helped me become who I am today, and I know I would not be where I am without them. They have made me more grateful for what I have, and they have motivated me to stay on my purpose in a way that seems very uncommon amongst my peers.

I am still amazed at how insights into life from 1800 years ago are still incredibly poignant today.

Binding Our Wishes To What Will Be – The Daily Stoic – Part 5 of 366

But I haven’t at any time been hindered in my will, nor forced against it. And how is this possible? I have bound up my choice to act with the will of God. God wills that I be sick, such is my will. He wills that I should choose something, so do I. He wills that I reach for something, or that something be given to me — I wish for the same. What God doesn’t will, I do not wish for.

Epictetus, Discourses, 4.1.89

In the description the book describes a letter Eisenhower sent to his wife on the eve of the invasion of Normandy. In it he writes, “Everything we could think of has been done, the troops are fit, everybody is doing his best. The answer is in the lap of the gods.”

This is a powerful statement. No matter how much time you have spent thinking and preparing, you eventually have to pull the trigger to see what happens and bear the consequences. The code you write doesn’t matter if it never makes it into the hands of users. The rocket ship you built does no good rusting away on the launchpad.

The better you get at doing your best and then decisively acting the more you will accomplish even if there are some stumbles and falls along the way. It is better to be moving forward and course correct than stand completely still agonizing over the choice in front of you.

You must prepare, but you must also act. The outcomes will be what they are, whether we like it or not.

Accepting What Is – The Daily Stoic – Part 5 of 366

Don’t seek for everything to happen as you wish it would, but rather wish that everything happens as it actually will — then your life will flow well.

Epictetus, Enchiridion, 8

It is easy to praise providence for anything that may happen if you have two qualities: a complete view of what has actually happened in each instance and a sense of gratitude. Without gratitude what is the point of seeing, and without seeing what is the object of gratitude?

Epictetus, Discourses, 1.6.1-2

The book mentions that in Stoicism this is called the “art of acquiescence” — to accept rather than fight every little thing. Indeed, when considering an event we wished had not occurred it is only possible to change our opinion and perception of the event since what has occurred is already in in the past.

After a very long break from writing this seems a to be a poignant topic to return with. Few would argue that 2019 and 2020 were not years utter chaos and disappointment in so many ways. Political turmoil, frequent natural disasters, a war on science, and a global pandemic all seek to occupy the mind and destroy all sense of stability, control, and happiness.

And yet, as consuming as these things are, for most people these things are still largely on the periphery of life. The worry over these things has far more damaging effects than many of these things for most people. Although it is not easy in times of turmoil, there is a great deal of virtue and value to be had in accepting the things you cannot change.

Integrate your learnings from these events into the decisions you make going forward, and then move on. Do not linger; dwelling on the past does not change it. There is more life ahead of you to live.

Interestingly the book also discusses the mental hack of wishing for what has occurred. Wishing for fate to play its hand never results in disappointment, and may very well be a source of joy by avoiding frequent anguish over any and every negative thing that occurs.

I personally find this a bit of a stretch. Wishing fate to play its hand and accepting it are two different things. It is not an inherently bad thing to experience disappointment or regret over something that has happened. In fact, I would consider this a primary source of empathy and solidarity that is important in society. Regretting that someone has cancer and expressing your sadness and disappointment seems a more human response than telling them that it was fated to be. But perhaps the point here was more in dealing with acceptance of one’s own experiences specifically. If you get cancer then regret and frustration would be natural feelings, but they do not change what has or is about to happen. In such a scenario I can see the virtue in acquiescence to the situation and focusing all effort on the future.

High Performers Double Check Their Work

It seems simple and obvious. However, I seem to have this discussion with seemingly everyone, so I’m going to assume this is actually some secret sauce that I have uncovered: the quickest and easiest way to up your skill level is to double check your work.

I think math class burned the phrase “check your work” into our minds with some negative connotations. I also think people are just generally trying to move too fast, and attention to detail really suffers in an era of incessant multitasking. Doing something 80% or 90% of the way may be good enough, but good is the enemy of great. If you want to be a high performer and to have a sterling reputation then you need to set the quality bar high and keep it there. If you hand off work that is actually incomplete or wrong then you gum up the works, you look unprofessional, and you waste valuable time and money. Don’t make people double check your work for you unless that is what they are literally paid to do (i.e. editors, auditors, etc). Even then, your goal is to make their lives as easy as possible so they can work efficiently instead of cleaning up stuff you could have caught yourself.

One of the great things about this piece of wisdom is that it is universally applicable. Ordering, writing, cleaning, coding, building, planning, presenting, calculations. It doesn’t matter what you are doing, it will always be to your benefit to double check the quality before handing something off.

Should you re-read that email you wrote to make sure you don’t sound like an idiot? Yes, you should. Should you review your own pull request, or better yet, review your code before making a pull request? Yes, you should. Should you double check that everything in your Amazon order is correct before buying? Yes, you should.

Start building the habit, and eventually it will become second nature. It is amazing how many things you will catch and how many snafus you will avoid by simply taking a few extra minutes to look things over. And, if something is really important, then go over it three or four time for good measure. Call it quits there though. There are diminishing returns, and it will either be good enough or it needs peer review from someone else with fresh eyes.