Depression is hard. I have found it can be nearly impossible to explain and convey the gravity of it to people who have never experienced it themselves or with those they care about. For those unfamiliar it is easy to see laziness or apathy, but for those struggling its hard to explain why the simplest tasks are insurmountable. Why taking out the trash or going for a walk or checking the mail takes every ounce of power you can muster. You’re spent and you aren’t sure why. Everything little thing feels impossible.

I remember when I first watched this talk by Dr. Stephen Ilardi ten years ago, and as someone who was struggling with depression it really made me challenge my assumptions about my struggles. When he talked about depression being nearly non-existent in hunter gatherer societies even to this day it has to make you wonder as he did: why is that? How is that possible? Rates of mental health issues have increased dramatically over the last 50 years and show no signs of slowing, and yet we have more research than ever on the topic.

Everyone’s struggle is different and I suggest anyone who is struggling to seek help and connection, but I can say for myself that his hypothesis and advice was apropos. Modern life removes a lot of the struggles we are biologically adapted for, and that leaves us with mental and physical gaps to fill. If you don’t need to find your food yourself then your brain will start to equate that struggle with your DoorDash order. With so much spare time you turn your phone into a job with endless social media apps to scroll, notifications to read and clear, and numbers to make go up or down as your dopamine demands. Since the web is infinite you can do this endlessly, and you lose sleep in search of the next cat video that will make your brain tingle for 15 seconds. You become “busy” and don’t see your friends because you feel like crap and become overwhelmed. The cycle turns into a death spiral.

I don’t mean to trivialize, but these are modern invented problems only made possible by the advancements of civilization. Our biology isn’t adapted to spend 14 hours a day on a screen. You need the sun and nature. You are a social creature no matter how introverted you are. Your brain is wired for connection. Your brain needs challenging and creative work the way your muscles need movement. Without it you will atrophy.

I have spent the last few years working diligently on becoming the best version of myself, and the results have dramatically exceeded what I would have predicted when deep down in the depths of depression. If I could sum up my biased n=1 personal experiment it would largely follow Dr. Ilardi’s advice:

• Sleep well
• Move more
• Challenge your brain
• Prioritize social connection
• Provide value to others
• Play with the world

Put the screen away, go outside, and follow where your feet take you. That is where the world is.